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Around 6 years ago, at my baby shower, we passed around a journal for all the women I love and admire to share their parenting wisdom. There were a lot of things that moved me, but today I'll write about just one. My lovely cousin-in-law, from the perspective of a daughter with wonderful parents, wrote something I hold dear to my heart. I wish I could quote it directly for you because she writes so beautifully but I have the journal tucked away in storage, stateside. Summed up, she said one of the things most important to her while growing up is that her mother stayed home with them, and was always there when she needed her.
People can argue the working mom/stay-at-home mom issue until they're blue in the face, pass out from lack of oxygen and eventually die from sheer frustration. It's a hot-button issue that's best to avoid, lest you face the wrath of a mom in defense of how she raises her children. Between the guilt and the love, the shame and the pride, we walk a razor thin emotional line.
My mom, and most of my family, always said I would grow up to "be somebody" -that I was so bright, so creative, really "going places." And then, well, I didn't go much farther than they did really. Yes, I've lived in and experienced two amazing countries, but that's just geography. When I see my friends and old classmates successful and happy in their careers I begin to question my decision.
Did I fail?
Then, there are Rebekah's words.
And I am so grateful for those words because this week my beautiful, funny, smart, amazing 5 year old ditched me forever started kindergarten.
The last five and a half years have defined me more as a person and a woman than I could have ever expected. And they have been fun. Exhausting and fun. I am so glad I didn't miss a minute of him.
There's always time for more college and a career later.
And if there is no later, if there is no more time, I know for certain I have spent mine wisely. Because I did become somebody. I'm Mommy.
It's the greatest title I'll ever have.
3 comments:
Kristen, I am so surprised that you remember what I wrote...I don't even remember! But it is absolutely true. Don't ever think that you have failed or didn't achieve great things. You are one of the most important, if not THE most important (sorry Tobin ;-) influence in the lives of two beautiful boys...and who knows what impact they will have on the world!
Great post. I love reading your blogs. They are always so insightful and beautifully written. :-)
I love this post. You are such a great mom and they will always remember you being there for them. You are right where you need to be!
thanks ladies. i heart you!
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